Words sometimes run out my mouth, “the truth falls out before you can catch it sometimes” Liza tells me.
As I sat this morning before asana practice I could feel the expectations burning a bit in the chest. I could feel the vibration from the work, the building of the walls of my construct of inadequacy. As the thoughts, the words run across the brain, burned over the chest, and settled nicely in the lumbar spine I quietly observed.
The travel to India to this small town was easy, the friend who met me at the gate was warm. She made me tea and offered a place to sleep. Why it is in life I am constantly gifted these friends, these sentient beings who love and nurture me--I will never understand, I suppose. It is not lost on me, not taken for granted in my heart or heavy head as I lay it down in the hands the feet of grace.
NYC offered the most beautiful send off. My last week was filled with love, support, and dancing. It was the first time I was ever a bit sad to be going to India, almost (almost) not wanting to go. To know she is there waiting for me makes me smile as I lay in the sun and read my books.
Trying not to eat before practice today was a bit much and by the time I made it to backbending some nausea was there. There are so many in the Shala so many practicing and Sharath was there till the end. I was gifted a warm smile and the chance to say thank you to my teacher. This chance, a moment to express my gratitude calms a bit the crazy inside.
There was a coconut after practice and some kind words with a friend I have not seen since last year. Kelly meets me and we walk for fruit and spices. We are making another batch of brown rice, cardamom, almond, vanilla and some other things milk. I have a fruit salad for breakfast followed by homemade chai. At this point there seems nothing more important to do then lay in the sun and read about mindfulness practices.
These practices, the mindfulness ones, have changed everything for me. Really everything. This is coming next writing…
Now I need to get Kelly out of the sun so we can make grape and fig smoothies.
I leave you with this for today, my first practice day in the room whose sweetness is matched by no other.
