Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Summer



I went to the beach here for the first time on the Friday before the 4th of July. It was my first 4th in the US in many years, I felt American. We swam and lay in the sun, ate bagels, and rode our bikes home. It was a perfect Friday. Saturday we went to the Hotel Chelsea, because it’s the Hotel Chelsea. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotel_Chelsea

So many amazing creative things happened there, it was like sleeping in a museum. We spent the weekend in Manhattan because we could, saw shows and eat our way around the little island. The weekend rounded out with staying up all night and getting a hug from Amma. It was a perfect NY weekend, I still cannot believe I get to live here.

I have been apt hunting and it is some form of hell. It’s hard to find a space in this overly full place. I look inside and see if there is space there, if I am seeing this inside outside mirror. Is the cost higher inside then it is for me out there? Can I see what I want or is my mom a bit more right then I realize when she tells me I want it all… It seems I am as blessed here as I have ever been with good friends, strong souls who support me when I am quite beyond my depth.

Stacy told me to have an espresso today so I could wake up, she tells me a lot of things I find quite true. She asks me if my choices are going to lead me to be all I can be tomorrow, not for others but for me.

I have been able to see so many friends as they pass through, as we stick together. It makes the world seem small, intimate. My world here is small. I wake up, practice, teach, eat, nap, chat, teach, eat, read, and go to bed. Elizabeth takes me on adventures. We cross the water (go to Manhattan), drive to the beach, she even took me to Yale. I love adventures and I love NY. She has her rainy days, I was told she tries to push you out to be sure you deserve to stay. This I understand. It has been hot here, like summers I remember from Michigan, I love summer. There is a culture to it, a go out dancing till 4 and walk home and be warm thing to it. A warm down to your bones softness to it, a soften kapotasana opening to it. It makes me feel safe.

I have been invited to take the oath of citizenship for Canada. Patriotism expanded. I am so pleased to have another country, to have been adopted, to be Canadian. I am told the ceremony is quiet moving, some tears are coming. My tears come more easily now, progress, intimacy expanded.

So many things happen here and I need to write more of them down to share, life seems to happen faster now. I love Brooklyn. I feel as at home here as I have anywhere. I miss the mountains some days but for this time my view, my new fire escape to climb down is good for me (and by good I mean pretty fucking fantastic). I get to live here.